The One Has No Clue But Don't Take My Word For It

The One has had a rough week. On Tuesday (2/3), I blogged about the little voice in my head (OK, one of many) that kept screaming, "He doesn't know what he's doing!" Well, it turns out that I'm not the only one with a nagging internal voice. Or, the voice in my head has gotten so loud it's now communicating with Beltway pundits. Yeah, probably the second one.

The Recap:

Award for Most Energetic and Frankest - Lindsey Graham on Fox News calling BO "AWOL" from leadership. There's video here.

Award for Snarkiest (in a good way) - Andrea Tantaros of Fox News, calling the first two weeks "amateur hour."

Award for I Told You So - Dana Milbank asking if the Obamara honeymoon is over. He documents the President and First Lady's flight to their favorite child's class to escape the White House. Escape? It's gonna be a long four years. Oh, and, yeah, they dote on their youngest child, the one who looks happy. The older one seems to be an afterthought. If I've picked this up in cursory reviews of pix on the interwebs, I can't imagine what it must be like in person. Note to BO PR: try to get the Mrs. to look like she cares about her firstborn.

Award for Having the Nerve to State the Obvious - tie and both go to RedState. First up is Jeff Emanuel examining why the Majority Party is acting like the Minority. Next, is Ken Taylor stating up front that BHO is "In Way Over His Head and It Shows."

We knew the halo would slip but who had "2 weeks" in the office pool? I mean, other than Hillary.

(shhhh ... The One doesn't know what he's doing)

I realize that we're only two weeks into The One's presidency. (Have the oceans ceased to rise yet?) But, I sense a trend forming. AND IT SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME!

When BO propped up his Turbo Tax-challenged "financial whiz" for Treasury Secretary, I had a sneaking suspicion that The One had no fucking clue about economics, finance, Wall Street, or sub prime mortgages. My sinking feeling was that Geithner, the "wunderkind" who couldn't read the gazillion or so reminders from the IMF that he had to pay the taxes for which he'd requested reimbursement IN WRITING, was BO's great plan to save the US from bankruptcy. It looked to me like The One was outsourcing his economic plan to "an expert" because he couldn't tell a credit default swap from a swap meet. And, I believe I'm right.

That's not the scary part.

How many times have we been told by both Democrats and Republicans that Geithner is THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SAVE THE ECONOMY? Yeah, well, it turns out he's been involved in every bad economic government decision made since Lehman's sent out a gold-threaded SOS this summer. Oops.

So, now I have a new sinking feeling. Maybe Geither has no fucking clue, either? Maybe he's just a pawn of the Wall Street crowd? Maybe he didn't pay his taxes because he's a tax cheat with a wonky moral compass instead of a wonk who can't read basic English? Maybe he subscribes to the Helmsley school of tax thought?

Let's recap:

1. President with the financial acumen of your average high school freshman but we taxpayers are the parents he's hitting up for cash.
2. Treasury Secretary who can't understand a form that says "you owe this much money."
3. Treasury Secretary who paid up his taxes when he got caught, not out of legal and moral obligation like the rest of us chumps. (Note to TG: there's no statute of limitations on owed taxes if you intentionally didn't pay what you owed.)
4. TS who has the financial acumen of your average college freshman but we taxpayers are the parents he's hitting up for cash to pay off his poker debts to pals Hank, Ben, Bob, and John.

Two weeks in may be a little early to panic. Or not. I'm switching to Panic Mode Plan M: First, we're going to need a harder mattress. Then I'm going to convert our savings into gold, silver and copper pipe, and stash it all between the box spring and the mattress until the economy recovers or we get an administration with a clue. Yeah, we better get used to sleeping with a piece of metal up our ... never mind. Many Americans are going to have that feeling soon.

Can McCain Pull This Off?

Yes.

If he can reach the voters directly ... Here are his challenges.

First, the polls are unreliable. When you look at a poll, you have to ask one question: what is the ratio of Democrats to Republicans? By upping the number of Dems or lowering the number of Repubs, a pollster can manipulate the results to favor Obama. I won't name names but this has happened more than once over the last few weeks.

Second, the MSM will run with these bad polls because they desperately want Obama to win. How else to explain the lack of coverage for Biden's outrageous gaffes about clean coal, who was president during the Great Depression, and his egregious debate whoppers? (I'm sure a few experts on the Middle East are scratching their heads about the "Biden-Obama Hezbollah-Lebanon" policy.) By pushing the idea that Obama's win is inevitable, they hope to sway undecideds and dispirit McCain-Palin backers.

Third, McCain has to step up to the plate. He has to make it clear to the American people that the Democrats blocked Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac reform, enabling the housing bubble. He has to link Obama to the freshman senator's crazy cohorts, because, trite though it sounds, you really can judge a man by the company he keeps. And, most important, he has to give voters a reason to vote for him. What is he going to do to fix the economy? Tax cuts won't cut it.

Fourth, Americans need to realize they are being played - by the media, by the Democrats, by the Obama campaign, by George Soros, by moveon.org, by labor unions, and by Hollywood loons who make millions reading lines other people write for them. All of these groups have vested interests in presenting a candidate with no real job experience as a viable president. If McCain's campaign can't drive home the prospect of a Pelosi-Reid-Obama government, he deserves to lose.

I believe this election is closer than the polls say. Neither candidate has made the sale to voters. I'm not confident one will before November 4th, which actually favors McCain as the known commodity.

Can McCain pull this off? If he wants to.

If You Can't Beat 'em, Bully 'em

"I need you to go out and talk to your friends and talk to your neighbors. I want you to talk to them whether they are independent or whether they are Republican. I want you to argue with them and get in their face."

-- Barack Obama, Elko, NV, September 16, 2008

Alrighty, then. (Note: I've not linked to the points below because there are copious reports that support them that have been clicked on to death.)

First, the DNC tried to bully Hillary Rodham Clinton out of the primary.

Then, the MSM, mesmerized by The One, tried to bully primary voters into snubbing HRC by accusing ordinary citizens of racism.

Next, the DNC Rules Committee strong-armed the Democratic electorate in Florida and Michigan to give The Big O delegates conjured from thin air.

Then, the Unholy Trinity of Pelosi, Dean, and Reid conspired to buy superdelegate support by pouring cash into campaign coffers, causing a stampede of shameless political hacks to The One and finally shoving the people's choice out of the primary.

Next, the DNC and The One, he of the hopey/changey/post-partisan/post-racial/new politics kumbaya campaign, harangued national delegates into abandoning their states' voters to support the worst sham election since Syria's.

But, it hasn't worked. The McCain-Palin ticket is tied with The Eared and Plugged Ones. M-P is ahead in key battle grounds, like Florida, and competitive in Michigan. (Go figure. Those Dems didn't like all the maneuvering at their expense.)

So, the Unholy Trinity and the Chicago Cabal are panicked. The country just doesn't seem to like this guy and no amount of shilling from SNL and Bill Maher seems to help. What's a dirty Daley machine pol to do? Bully the electorate.

For all I know, the American people can be humbled and despirited enough to grudgingly vote for the Ear-Plugs ticket. Who knows? Stranger things have happened. (See Bush 2000 and Bush 2004.) But, color me skeptical, if I'm allowed to be without that being misconstrued as a racial taunt.

Here's what I see as the DNC/Ear-Plugs strategy.

1. Inspire its minions to harass their friends, neighbors and coworkers.

2. Call the American people racists by making bogus claims about The One's inherent electability were he not (b)-(l)-(a)-(c)-(k). I said, were he not BLACK. BLACK! Can't you people see there's a BLACK man running for president? There was a poll telling you what a racist sack of pig excrement you are! (lipstick optional)

3. Threaten us with THE CHRISTIANS.

4. Scare us that the old man may not make it to January, leaving us with - a sitting governor!

5. Scream about leaving the economy to A CHRISTIAN and and an old guy who can't even send an e-mail (because the Viet Cong broke his arms in multiple places but he can't tell you that because that's "playing the POW card").

So much for the politics of hope and change. Let's examine these tactics.

1. - Great way to get fired/dumped/shunned/disinvited to your mother-in-law's annual New Year's bunko blowout. Seriously, The One did this in the primaries and a quarter of HRC's voters are so mad they're either voting for the other guy or undecided. In fact, Ear-Plugs is so not worried about HRC's supporters that it's formed an outreach group (read gang) called "Hillary Sent Me." Good plan. Not. (I love you, Hill, but I don't worship you. Thanks but no thanks.)

2. - Great way to get Americans to lie to pollsters because they're afraid of looking bad. Not a great way to get votes. I expect most M-P voters to harden out of disgust and most independents will feel slighted. Americans like to feel good about themselves, not scolded for feelings few have.

3. - Most Americans are Christians who live in small towns and like their guns. See 2. Since Palin is drawing huge crowds, my guess is this isn't working.

4. - Way to insult 50% of the population! So, a female governor with the highest approval rating of any current sitting governor is a worse option than a freshman senator who's spent his ENTIRE tenure in the senate running for president. (And, he's being propped up by the star-struck Unholy Trinity and their Horse Faces of the Apocalypse, Kerry, Kennedy, and Clyburn.)

5. - And, Senators, your economic plan would be ... Yeah, that's why a prominent Democratic strategist urged you to come up with one plan, one, just one, because voters can't name any.

Well, as the old saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, bully the shit out of 'em. At least, that seems to be the Chicago version. Luckily, The One isn't in Chicago anymore. If Governor Palin clicks her heels just right, he'll be back there soon enough.

The Genie is Out of the Bottle and Out of Wishes

Lo! In the twentieth year after the world was supposed to end, according to the Prophet Orwell, a Star rose over the oldest lands of the New World. And, the New Orwellians rejoiced for, surely, their two-term lefty savior had arrived to become king.

Hence, as the Star sparkled in the prime time sky, did a wondrous event occur. Reverend Dean and Kerry, the king-in-waiting, did kiss the ring of Prince Kennedy and rub the feet of Daley, Overlord of Darkness. And, yea verily, on the vast temple before the assembled New Orwellians, the spell was broken. From the very toenails of the Overlord did rise a tall and handsome genie with a radiant smile and photogenic cheekbones.

And, the genie did gently circle his manicured hands and did speak to the New Orwellians. "People of the New World Order," said the genie. "We are not Earthlings or Starlight, Orwellians or Rovians. Nay, we are all Obamacons. And, yea verily, we will unite this planet in Boston and Seattle, in the City of Angels and the City of Wind, in Berlin and Paris, and in Ames and in Washington! Yes, we can! We will work together. You must wish it so. You must have hope!"

Yea, and the crowd roared its approval for it comprised the Creative Class and they were averse to work but they could dream and wish and hope.

But, the genie needed sustenance so he retreated to a dark doorway to smoke, leaving the New Orwellians to ponder his wisdom.

"My lord, how can thou unite the planet?" asked the Reverend Dean, verily enjoying the burning incense from the land of Marlboro.

"Ah, but I cannot," replied the genie.

"What?" screamed the Reverend. For he was known far and wide for his screams.

"But, you told the New Orwellians ..."

"My good reverend," said the genie, "I am a genie. I grant wishes. I do not work."

"Wishes?"

The genie did verily wave his elegant hands. "I am The One and I am here to grant three wishes to the man who broke the spell."

And, the Reverend Dean did let out his scream and jump up and down and pump his fists in the air. "He's not here. But, I know what he wants. I'll do it for him. I wish for John Kerry to win the election!"

"Well, uh, see, Reverend, we could get into the specificity of the paranormal vs. the audacious, and we could talk about this all day, about the ramifications, of, uh, wishes and their consequences," said the genie and Dean was verily entranced by the beauteous words and the dazzling smile and the wafting incense from the land of Marlboro. "But, see, when we get down to the, to the, look, I can only grant three wishes a year and between my wife and, anyway, no can do until 2005."

So, the Rovian King Dubya was not deposed and the New Orwellians would have to wait another four years for the calendar to turn, as was the custom in the New World.

But, lo, in that instant, a partnership was birthed. And, the genie's fame grew far and wide to Sin City and the New Sodom and promises were made and deals were hatched so that four years later the genie might become king-in-waiting. Soon, it became known among the New Orwellians that the genie would rule over them in 2008. For, it was inscribed in the NYT and WaPo, on dKos and Huff&Puff.

Hence, the 24th year after the Prophet Orwell had forecast the end of the world, the New Orwellians cheered as the genie became their king-in-waiting. But, the Rovians were not so taken with the genie and they bore false witness against him and circulated true stories about his lack of experience as a real king. And, the residents of the New World were curious.

Now, the genie had been forced to use all of his three wishes warding off Empress Hillary of Clintonia, sworn enemy of the Reverend Dean, Prince Kennedy and then former king-in-waiting Kerry. The Empress was the champion of the People of the Working Class and she beat the genie, only to be cast aside at the end by his last wish. But, lo, the genie was out of wishes and could not make himself king.

So, the New Orwellians faced life for four years under Lt. McCain, a Rovian that many liked more than the genie. And, the genie's fortunes looked dim. Lo, their last chance came upon them, a final pitched battle between the Empress and the genie. If the Empress won, she would click her red shoes, vanquish Lt. McCain, and return peace and prosperity to the New World.

But, alas, the Clintonistas, after a valiant fight, were unable to put the genie back in the bottle until the dark of winter descended on the lands and Lt. McCain had assumed the throne. The New Orwellians were split between the Rovians and the Clintonistas, and the rest were driven into exile to the very edges of the New World, the Blue Coasts.

Lo, it came to pass, in the 28th year after the Prophet Orwell had scheduled the end of the world, that Empress Hillary smote King McCain and became the rightful ruler of the New World, bringing peace, prosperity, and gender equality to all. It is whispered in these parts and others far and wide that the Empress Hillary kept on her desk a box from the land of Marlboro sealed tightly in a glass case and that on starry nights, a beauteous voice would bespeak the words "audacity" and "bitch".

Can't a Guy Just Take His Vacation?

The nerve of some fledgling democracies and their megalomaniac imperialist neighbors!

Poor Barack Obama. After tirelessly watching the MSM and DNC do the heavy lifting during the Democratic primaries, he desperately needed a vacation - and a photo op with Granny, whom he hadn't visited in two years even though she is an unhealthy 85 and she raised him.

And, what happens? War breaks out in the Caucus Mountains. Damn those Caucasians! Always trying to thwart his plans!

To make matters worse, his time jogging on the beach and relaxing with a Mai Tai (yes, you can still get one in Hawaii) was interrupted because the Doogie Howsers running his campaign wanted a statement. Something presidential. Something with gravitas. (Isn't there an antibiotic for that? Well, there should be.) Something to show his bona fides! (I know there's a cream for that at CVS.) And, those idiot Jonas Brothers took three attempts to come up with a decent speech.

After that McCain guy went out and kicked some Ruskie butt!

After that McCain guy presciently called on the UN Security Council to have an emergency meeting!

And, as if things couldn't get worse, The Changeling had to give his speech in the ugliest black windbreaker to escape from MIT's annual Best Einstein Hair fundraiser!

Rewrite!

Except, this is the real world, Barry, not a perfectly choreographed speech (following a free concert). These are the kind of issues that presidents deal with, not selecting faux seals and posing for promotional pix.

Yes, Barry, these world-changing events - Russia wanting to rebuild the Soviet Union and threatening a major pipeline that Europe desperately needs - these are the times when sipping a Mai Tai comes second to getting on your private jet back to DC. Now.

If Obama really wanted to be presidential, rather than just appearing presidential, he would be in DC meeting with experts on Georgia and Putin. It's work, I know. It can't be delegated or outsourced or parsed. It's the unglamorous, yeoman side of the presidency that changes lives - real change.

But, a guy needs some time off, doesn't he? Can't a guy just take his vacation? No. Not if that guy is the president - or wants to be.

Hey, NYT and WaPo, Are You Protecting Obaby, Too?

After months of dogged reporting by America's premier investigative news outlet, The National Enquirer, the truth has come out about John Edwards. I wish I were joking about NE being our best source but I'm not.

It turns out that the major national media players have been sitting on the Edwards affair story for, oh, almost a year. Yeah, not a few days to give the former senator and his family time to regroup and formulate a strategy. No, 9 FREAKING MONTHS. That must be a helluva strategy there, Johnny.

See, the MSM didn't think it was a major story - even though Edwards had been heavily touted to be a VP contender, Attorney General possibility, or Supreme Court candidate - and they didn't want to hurt Elizabeth's feelings - like she hadn't been hurt by the affair while she waits to die from stage 4 cancer - and they doubted the veracity of the source - which is fair, considering Edwards paramour was the inspiration for an unhinged coke head in a novel written by an ex-boyfriend. Still, two things bother me. One, if NE could find the dirt, surely our best journalists could have unearthed a few spadefuls. Second, even after finding the truth, our most trusted news sources sat on the story. For months.

Tragic.

And I don't mean the affair.

Here's the important question: are the MSM going to make amends by investigating The One?

You know the drill, Rezko, Wright, Ayers, his campaign tactics in Chicago, the birth certificate questions, etc. I'm looking forward to some kick-ass articles about all of this, now that the MSM has decided not to protect its Democratic favorites. (By the way, it was pretty clear to anyone with more than two brain cells that HRC was not an MSM fave. Can you imagine the uproar if she'd lied about speaking a foreign language? Yeah, exactly.)

Now, there are some gold stars to be handed out. The Boston Globe did an excellent series on The One's district. The Weekly Standard had an superb piece examining His Loftiness' writings for his local paper. There was a so-so article in The New Yorker about Chicago's influence on The Community Obamanizer by a reporter who has since been banned from The CO's sight. And the blogosphere has been on these stories from day one.

I understand being cautious. I understand checking sources. I even understand protecting friends or respected members of the community, especially if a story is highly personal and innocent bystanders, like spouses and children, will be hurt. But, I don't understand protecting candidates when the nation's interests are at stake.

I think it's time we stopped calling the New York Times our paper of record when it seems to have a pattern of keeping important stories off the record. And The Washington Post sure has fallen since it's heyday during the Watergate scandal. But the worst offenders are our major networks. Surely between updates on Britney's custody drama and the latest on the Brangelina twins' photo saga they could have squeezed in this little tidbit.

Because the nation cares.

Because Americans want to know who our politicians are as people and what their true values are. And, nothing exposes your true values like trotting out your family at campaign stops while you're betraying your dying wife.

But here's what has really stuck in my craw. Many of these same "journalists" who sat on the Edwards story were Bill Clinton's loudest critics. They tried their damnedest to bury the Clintons over Bill's one-night indiscretion (as opposed to an affair and yes there is a difference!). Yet, they held tight to their keyboards when the Edwards story was burning up cyberspace - likewise with many Obama stories.

So, let's see if we have this straight.

• Bill Clinton - fair game
• Hillary Clinton - fair game
• John Edwards - golden boy
• Barack Obama - The One They Desperately Want to Elect

We need the Fourth Estate. It's vital to our democracy, what's left of it. Isn't it about time the MSM reported on the story and stopped being the story?

What Happens in Indonesia Stays in Indonesia

So, here's what I don't get. If Barack Obama was adopted by Lolo Sotero and became legally, socially, and academically Barry Sotero, is his real name, legally and ballot-wise still Barry Sotero?


Are you catching my drift?


Did "Barack Obama" legally change his name from Barry Sotero? Or did he just show up in Honolulu with an old US passport and a wrinkled original birth certificate and get enrolled in school as Barack Obama? Who would have known, right? How would the school secretary know? Just because he had Indonesian school records (assuming those got passed along) wouldn't mean he wasn't American. Think about it! Hawaii is home to countless bases. People come and go from exotic locales all the time. And, in multicultural Ha-va-ii, nobody was going to question either "funny name."


So, what happens in Indonesia stays in Indonesia?


I know it's hard to imagine in our hyperlinked, ID obsessed, new millennial world that there was a time when people didn't ask for your eye scan when you used your Target gift card. But, yes, there was a more innocent period in America when a good, upstanding bank president's word and a few old, dogeared documents would be all you needed to register your child in school.


Nowadays, you need to leave fingerprints inked in your own blood and a DNA test proving parentage. Kidding. And, we really do plan to get those shot records in as soon as possible.


But, I digress ...


According to TexasDarlin's research, also documented at NoQuarter, the state of Hawaii seals the original birth certificates of children who are adopted. A new certificate is produced with the child's new last name, new father and/or mother, and other relevant information. So, if Barack Obama, Jr. was adopted by Lolo Sotero, he would probably have a birth certificate that says Barry Sotero.


What if Barry Sotero showed up with his original US passport and a copy of his original birth certificate (the one that had to have been sealed after his adoption in accordance with Hawaiian law), who would know he wasn't legally Barack Obama? And, why would they ask? Why would anyone ask?

They wouldn't. And, Barry Sotero could go all the way to the US Senate on those old pieces of paper. Would that be legal? I don't know but I have a feeling it's not. When you run for office, you have to do so under your legal name. What if Barry Sotero never got around to filing for a name change, something that would be part of the public record and would have come up on at least one of the gazillion searches I did on The Google. I'm no lawyer ... but ... I don't think Barry can be the legally elected junior senator from Illinois.


See where I'm going with this? Following the same logic, it's possible his name on the primary ballots wasn't valid and he received ZERO votes for the Democratic nomination.


Congratulations, Senator Clinton! Now, all you have to do is hire a team of private investigators, contact the FBI, and convince the MSM to take up your cause all in the next three weeks.


Or else, what happens in Denver will stay in Denver.

Race, Hypocrisy & Bottle Blondes

Subliminal miscegenation! Racist! Sinister overtones!

Yes, I'm sure Barack Obama is horrified, HORRIFIED, at the thought of a black man and two white women being pictured together. But not together. In an ad.

Pass the smelling salts, Minerva! A black man and a white woman togetha?

Oh, yeah, That's how we ended up blessed with The Blessed One.

Is it me or does the MSM suffer from a wee bit of hypocrisy? How can a biracial man, one who blathers on and on and on annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddd ooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnn about being the son of a " typical white woman from Kansas" and an "African man black as pitch," honestly get riled up about being in an ad showing the candidate with two "typical white women?"

What am I missing?

John McCain's campaign, making light of Obama's celebrity persona, made a G-rated ad showing brief glimpses of blondes Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. It was an amusing commercial but nothing like the infamous Ford/Corker "Harold, call me" debacle. There were no sexual or racial overtones, undertones, or Coppertones. Simply a white face, a brown face, then another white face. And some music.

All those colors! Minerva, those smelling salts!

What are we becoming as a nation? First, Hillary Clinton is raked over the coals for having the temerity to suggest President Johnson had anything to do with Civil Rights and now this crap. A benign ad starring two of our most vacuous celebrities is branded "racist" and "sinister" because their race only half-matches the candidate's.

If it's racist to feature a half-white candidate in the same ad as two white women, is it equally racist to feature a half-black man with two African American starlets? Would the ad have passed muster with nervous netroots nellies if it had depicted Omarosa and Crystle Stewart (our most recent Miss USA Winner to fall on her world stage)? Perhaps McCain's campaign could have gotten away with mixed-race celebrities like Halle Berry and Mariah Carey, except both are accomplished women and the meme of this ad was a lack of experience.

Wait! If there are other mixed-race people in our country, Obama isn't the only biracial American, is he? He just thinks he is because it's always about him. Just like this story wasn't about race but hypocrisy and double standards.

Simply put, because he is half-white himself, a half-white-half-black candidate cannot cast sinister aspersions on an ad's white celebrity faces. Does the good senator have a problem with inter-racial dating? Wouldn't that make him a hypocrite? Or, even a self-loathing hypocrite?

It wasn't just the race card that got played this week. It was the hypocrisy card. It was played by the Obama campaign and the jokers were the liberal MSM.

Minerva, a case of smelling salts for MSNBC and HuffPo ASAP!

Why PUMAs Won't Vote for O - The Ex-Boyfriend Factor

Max - 99, doesn't that Kaos agent look like your ex-boyfriend from college?

99 - Max! You've done it! You've figured out why we can't vote for Obama! He reminds us of an ex-boyfriend. (shudders)

Max - Obama works for Kaos?

99 - No, Max, he is Kaos.

It struck me last night like I was Shemp and Reality was Larry. Why won't women and gay men vote for Obama? He's attractive, tall, sophisticated, smart, and he's got that Hollywood smile the cameras love. So, why do women want to throw the remote at the TV and why are gay men furiously blogging about the End of The World?

Obama reminds us of THAT ex-boyfriend. Yeah, you know the one, good-looking, charming, eerie Cruise-like grin. The one that fooled around with your best friend or bought a Rolex on your credit card or called you on New Year's Eve around 8PM saying he had an obscure virus called Gotabetterofferitis.

I was reading this scary little gem by The Body Language Lady about the nexus of narcissism, Obama, and body language. And, then, it hit me. He's the ex-boyfriend your best friends warned you about, the one you ended up leaving back at the caucus without a ride home.

I don't doubt Obama is a narcissist. Sure, most politicians have a healthy ego. In order to believe that YOU are the ONE PERSON in the country who can be the best president, you have to be pretty full of yourself. But, I believe Obama takes things a step further. And, so do the posters on BLL's site, including a psychologist.

It gets creepier. 75% of narcissists are men. 75%! Get it? That's why women and gay men are more likely to see through Obama. We've dated one! But, what about lesbians? What about them? As women, they've watched at least one close friend date Mr. Perfect and then helped pick up the pieces - used condoms, red thongs, scraps of paper with phone numbers, that Rolex receipt.

You can call me crazy. Many people do. But this isn't why. Obama creeps people out in a way I've never seen another candidate do. It's a visceral reaction. I can't see that smarmy smile pop up without cringing and I never even dated a narcissist. (I've known enough to see the signs. Got this one covered, thanks.) This sickly feeling knows no race, creed, or political party. That right-wing blogger was trying to be funny but still hit the target.

(shudder)

(double shudder)

But, what about people who don't feel this way? After all, 40+% of the country hasn't figured him out and those pictures from his trip were really pretty. Well, first of all, narcissists are rare, estimated to be between 1 and 2% of the population, according to the extensive research I did on The Google. And, you really have to have experienced NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) up close and personal to want to vomit when you catch a glimpse of The Eared One. Otherwise, you may be creeped out but you probably won't have an unnatural urge to grab your car keys and hit the gas. In fact, many people unfamiliar with NPD's path of destruction will look at the hollow eyes and believe they are magnetic rather than cold and devoid of empathy.

Narcissists can be very charismatic but only over the short-term. Right now, many Americans are still caught up in the honeymoon period. (Those of us who've been married a while can tell you all about what happens when the HP comes to a crashing halt, right around the time you discover your spouse feels ratty underwear is appropriate for answering the door.)

So, what next? Well, I'm a PUMA. I keep holding out hope that Dean, Pelosi, and Reid will come down with serious cases of Blackberry Thumb, be too bedridden to oversee the grand anointment, and, in their absences, the spell will be broken, the supers will wise up and kiss the princess, who will then rightly ascend to her place as Democratic Nominee, and peace will be restored to DemLand.

Hey, if a nobody with criminal connections, membership in a racist church, and a resume as short as Mini-Me can rise from the ashes of an exclusive prep school/Columbia/Harvard Law to flit around Europe like the late, great Suzanne Pleshette in If It's Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium, then ANYTHING can happen.

But PUMAs voting for Obama - that won't. (shudder, shudder, shuuuddddeeerrrr)

Obama and the Mirror of Erised

Barack Obama brags about being a blank screen onto which people can project their beliefs. He claims he can be anything to anyone. Since when is being a human Rorschach test some kind of virtue?

I have another theory. Perhaps, the senator is more like a human Mirror of Erised (my deepest apologies to JK Rowling). In the first Harry Potter novel, Harry discovers a wondrous mirror that reflects one’s heart’s desire. Reflected in the magical looking glass is the You Oprah Dreamed You’d Be.

Howard Dean might have envisioned his 50 State Strategy.
Nancy Pelosi could have seen her Northern California liberal policies.
Harry Reid might have glimpsed a political leader.

Could it be that this election hasn’t been about “the change we’ve been waiting for” but the petty ambitions of a few self-centered leaders? Is it possible that Democratic officials didn’t just project their values onto their rising star, but their dearest dreams?

It gets worse. Now, Obama is playing his shtick on desperate Afghans. According to John Nichols at The Nation, Obama has been meeting with tribal lords and promising them roses and sunshine:

Unfortunately, Obama is busy making promises.

After meeting with the Democratic presidential candidate inside the US base in Jalalabad, Afghan warlord turned provincial governor Gul Agha Sherzai told reporters, "Obama promised us that if he becomes a president in the future, he will support and help Afghanistan not only in its security sector but also in
reconstruction, development and economic sector."

Translation: Obama is not listening. He is making commitments.

Specific commitments.

Despite the fact that there are more foreign troops in Afghanistan today than at any time since the 2001 invasion -- roughly 60,000 total, including 36,000 Americans – Obama is proposing to dispatch two more US combat divisions (comprising more than 7,000 soldiers) to Afghanistan. That will give the United States even greater responsibility for a technically NATO-led occupation.

Apparently, The One is running around countries harboring suicidal terrorists and telling them he'll give them anything they want. IS HE OUT OF HIS MIND? There are consequences if his alleged promises never come to fruition - PEOPLE WILL DIE.

Afghanistan has been crippled by centuries of war. Its people desperately need necessities like food and running water. It would be honorable and commendable if we could bring that to them. But, Obama is not in a position to do that. Heck, even the real President can't.

Maybe Obama really believes he can do this. He seems to have drunk a lot of Kool-Aid on the trail. Or, maybe he's using these poor people as campaign props and he'll do as much for them as he did for the people in his district (the ones living in the rat-infested, uninsulated, unheated buildings his bud Tony Rezko built on the Illinois taxpayers' dimes).

Here’s what I know. Confidence men succeed by promising their victims what they desire. They’re “blank screens.” They’re Mirrors of Erised. Democratic leaders, influential left-wing commentators, and desperate voters have spent this primary dreaming of their deepest desires. But, inevitably, confidence men have to deliver what they’ve promised – like filibuster a bad FISA bill or take public financing. When they don’t, which they inevitably won’t, the jig is up. At least, it should be.

Unless electing a flip-flopping, pandering pseudo-liberal, wannabe right-wing Evangelical driving a large careening Blunderbuss is their fondest dream, the Superdelegates need a new mirror.